Short Flights by James Lough

Author:James Lough
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Schaffner Press, Inc.
Published: 2016-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Hart Pomerantz

I love the twists of logic in jokes. This penchant started me writing aphorisms. As a kid I loved comedy, and particularly non-sequiturs. My mother used to say to me, “Hart, take off your sweater, I’m hot.” She was serious but I thought it was funny.

My interest in comedy eventually led me to Hollywood as a comedy writer for the hit show “Laugh-In”. Later, I was fortunate enough to have a writing session with Woody Allen, the greatest joke writer of them all. From these experiences as well as from being a full time lawyer, I developed a love of word play, the ‘sleight of mouth,’ the witty remark. Getting laughs that included a philosophic insight seemed even more desirable. For me an aphorism is a joke that went to college.

When I write these one-liners, they seem to pop out without thought. It is impossible for me to know what is going to appear on the page until I read it. It amazes me that the same brain can write drivel one moment and the next moment produce a diamond.

Law school taught me how to take two situations that are exactly the same and show how they are different.

Let all the gods fight it out, and we’ll worship the winner.

Man’s need for answers far outweighs his need for truth.

A president near the end of his second term resembles an old stripper who has removed all her clothes yet still has twenty minutes left in her act.

In a perfect world the woman would also fall asleep after sex

The tip of the iceberg is all that is left.

When driving south we are passing through the future of those driving north.

Never trust a country whose army marches without bending its knees.

Hero worship requires no clergy.

A dictator lives in fear because he knows there are others out there just like him.

Why is absolute power so bad, and Absolut vodka so good?

Prison separates the guilty members of society from those not yet apprehended.

We must stop describing what we cannot see.

The righteous often become the trophies of the mighty.

In the beginning there was nothing’. In the end there was Wal-Mart.

The less the difference between people the greater the animosity.

The rug must be held responsible for its fringe.

It is unfortunate that no school teaches us how to fail properly.

The nuclear family has been detonated.

Should you be considered an original thinker if you discover a new method of stealing ideas?

A boy born with a silver spoon in his mouth soon discovers how easily it can progress up to his nose.

In prehistoric times whenever there was thunder, religion soon followed.

He was a type A minus personality.

All professions invent their own jargon in order to charge you for the translation.

Do lobsters ever feel they’re being rescued when the waiter reaches into the tank?

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.